Perhaps the most tragic figure of all those I interviewed for "a final peace" is my aunt Candy. Though she was not molested or abused in any way, she still suffered tremendously because of Tom, and I would say, more than anyone else.
My aunt has always been the "cool aunt". The one who never judged but always tried to encourage, the one who loved when no one else would. But it is this very attitude that led her down the path where she was forced to choose between a brother she cared for dearly, and the children she loved more than anything else.
Of all of the family that loved and cared for Tommy, Aunt Candy was his favorite. Throughout his life, she was the one thing he could depend on. If he needed a place to stay or money, or just someone to care about him, she was there.
Even after he abused her children, and she swore she would never have anything to do with him again, she continued to have contact with him till the day he died. That is her nature, and Tommy loved her for it.
As a father, I cannot imagine the internal turmoil she must have endured when she found out what had happened to her kids. And as the interview clip for this week reveals, she still feels the pain, even three decades later.
If there is anything to be learned from my aunt's example it is that sometimes, love is not enough when the damage runs too deep. Despite our best efforts and intentions, we can still get hurt when we try to help someone who is broken.
Despite the suffering she endured as a result of her unwavering kindness and loyalty, in my opinion, we need more people like her in the world, not less.
The clip I chose for this week's blog contains the first words my aunt has ever spoken regarding what happened and how she feels about her decisions. It also provides compelling insight into the internal controversy she continues to feel to this day.
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