Why we take risks.

(outtake from "a final peace" featuring my cousin Jason. This is unedited so apologies for the sound and lighting)


It was late one night and I was enjoying some cocktails, when my phone rang. I rarely get calls that late unless they are emergencies and the phone number was unknown to me, so I was a little apprehensive as I answered it.


“Hello?”
“Hello cousin.”
“Jason?”
“Yeah it’s me.”


It was my cousin Jason, you will recognize him as the only bearded man interviewed in the film. He sounded subdued, but not panicked.


“How are you doin Jay? What’s goin on?”
“I’m ready to tell you my story now.”
“What?”
“I’m ready to tell you what happened to me with Tommy.”


Month’s before, I had called Jason’s mother, Candace, to ask if she would allow me to interview her for the film. She is Tom’s second oldest stepsister and knew him better than anyone else in the family. It was then that I learned about an incident involving Tom and two of her children.


Up to that point I had believed that I was the only one that had been molested by Tommy. To hear, now, that my younger cousin, someone that I considered (and still consider) to be more like a little brother, may have also been victimized, literally took my breath away.


If you are going to do a doc about your family, be prepared to learn things that you may never have wanted to know; and if your subject is something as painful as incest, be prepared for some of the things you learn to hurt. I can’t explain it any better than that.


My aunt would not reveal the details of what had happened but simply said that, in deference to her children, she could not participate without their approval. This situation highlights how often we have to make choices, important choices, with little to no information on which to base them. The only things I knew about what had happened were that it involved my 7 and 13 year-old cousins, and that it was most likely sexual in nature. Looking back, it was like I was standing on a precipice with no idea of what was down below.


As visual journalists we are expected to take risks, sometimes without a clear idea of what is at stake. Some of the choices we make fall flat on their collective ass and all we get in return is a bruised ego and a hard lesson learned. But every once in awhile the risks we take lead us to truth. It is for these moments that we should always be willing to jump.


After weeks of cajoling, my cousin finally agreed to discuss the project with me at his convenience. It would be another several weeks before I would receive the call described earlier. Jason not only agreed to share his incredible and heart-wrenching experience with me, but to do so on camera, if that is what I preferred.


This was a pivotal moment for the project because it marked a significant departure from my original theme. Rather than a memorial to Tom, the film’s focus would be more comprehensive, and dare I say ‘realistic’. This change in ‘purpose’ would ultimately lead to the most amazing find of the whole production: Tommy’s best friend in the Navy.


Next week we will continue our journey as we turn our attention to Tom’s experiences in the Navy, and my discovery of the “only good friend he had”. Have a great week everybody.